Ok...my misunderstanding on the phone then. Why isn't it in his name?
Have you thought about the question I posed earlier though? How long are you willing to live this way? You really need to answer this for yourself...it's sometimes not easy, especially if you love the other person. But unless you are willing to live like this indefinitely it's something you do need to answer, then you need to communicate it to him.
COgal wrote:
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is in my name. I have to collect $$ from him to pay it on time, or he'll just let it slide.
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COgal. My cell phone company is the pitts so I complained around 10 to 12 times. My last call, they said if I could find a suitable person they would reassign the remaining contract over to that person. A "suitable person" meant someone with a credit card or a large deposit. Does your H have a credit card in his name.
I worked in a deliquent boys group home. We had a policy of "Natural and Logical Consequences" Which meant if they were going to be late for school, we did not provide a ride to school. We let them be late and they had to do what the school did to kids that arrived late. Same for books checked out of the library. Library's late fees. BTW, we did this for most things. The boys still were not responsible most of the time but it was sure easier on the staff working there. We quit being the bad guys and the nags. You need to quit being the mother. Ask yourself if you want a son or a H. If you want a son, keep reminding him to pay on time. ( soft, fur covered 2X4 intended)
You have several chioces.
1. Be H's mother, nag him to pay you on time and you are responsible.
2. You collect money from H with out reminding him. if he is late, charge a late fee.
3. Reassing contract in H name, let him be responsible. (and maybe grow up).
4. Have H save money and pay cancellation fee. End this contract and buy prepaid cell service. No prepaid fees remaining, no minuets to call his friends.
5. Other variations or combinations listed or not listed.
If I had to start over with cell service, I would but a good used phone from a "used cell phone store" ($40 to $50, they buy then for $10-$20) or a Kyocera 2135 from someone on eBay ($30 to $40). The phones are durable, but check the battery closely. I would not sign a contract for any length of time if possible. If I had to sign a contract 6 month to a year would be my max.
Cell providers don't give a rats A$$ about your prediciments once you sign the contract. They do not care if your cell gets a enough signal to make a call. You signed a contract saying you will pay no matter how poorly the cell service is. Most contracts basically say you have to xyz and they only have to collect the money. They absolve themselves of providing cell service once the contract is signed.
Been there twice, got screwed twice. Cell One and Sprint, only interested in you making the payments. Forget about the cell working. You signed the contract saying it did not have to.
Sorry about the rant on cell providers. I got cheated twice and it cost me dearly.
BTW, I started W with prepaid and then switched her over to my service by adding an extra line fot $10.00 a month, which with taxes and "FEES" is really $15.00 to $18.00 more a month. bad move, big mistake, I wish I haden't done it.
OG Lou. Natural and logical consequences, no rescuing=responsability.
Since the phone is in your name and you're locked into a contract, why not go to the phone store and get yourself a new phone. That shuts down his and stops the calls to "friends." T"here's always more than one way to skin a cat"
H is totally irreponsible; I really don't know what to do. It would cost $200 to cancel the cell phone plan. H does not have credit cards; he has had in the past but doesn't pay them. It would cost $500 to transfer the phone into his name because of his credit. The chance of him coming up with either amount is not likely.
He needs a cell phone for work. He has free incoming calls and isn't willing to give that up for a plan that costs less even though he could tell people not to call as often. He also isn't willing to quit talking to people multiple times each day. He's planning to get back into straight-commission sales, which is going to be the same nightmare as before...sometimes big bucks and sometimes nothing.
I already have a cell phone on another contract (a whopping $34/mo.) and don't need another one ($100+/mo. plan). He does need a phone but needs to learn to limit his talking; we're talking bills that sometimes are close to $300/mo. due to his minutes over the plan.
OK then invoke OG_Lou's "Natural and Logical Consequences" Change you plan to something in the $100/ mo. range and save $200. Then take the phone the month he goes over. "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."
That's another no go, unfortunately. My plan, with better service, is somewhere else and would cost me $150 to cancel. I think I'm just going to have to insist that he come up with the $500 to get it transferred. I really wouldn't want to be taking calls from all the people he may have given his number to; I think that might cause more issues for us. I'm sure lots of people have his number since he manages to make over 1,000 minutes of outgoing calls each month. That doesn't even include the free incoming calls.
Quote: I have to collect $$ from him to pay it on time, or he'll just let it slide.
So let it slide, let the phone get cut off...stop asking for the money from him, if the phone is disconnected that is HIS fault, and HIS responsibility to take care of it. DON'T ask for the money to pay for it if you're trying to get him to step up and take responsibility...by doing this you're playing mommy to him (and I don't say that to put you down k?)...you aren't making him be responsible; you're the one being responsible and he knows he can count on you to do that.
Taking control of your own actions (like asking for money to pay for luxury items that benefit him only) is your first step here. I know it's stressful to know the phone is in your name and will likely be disconnected, but if it is tell him that if he wants a cell phone then he needs to take care of that all on his own and be responsible for the bill...all on his own.....don't do it for him. It's a place to start COgal.
COgal...I notice you shoot down the majority of our suggestions. What are you willing to do? Do you do nothing out of fear that he'll be hurt/angry? If so, I understand that but I don't see how this will be resolved without confrontation. He's taking MAJOR advantage of you, he's not going to like it when you stop allowing that to happen.
$200 buy out of contract vs. sometimes he goes $300 over a month because of his minutes. Oh my, the things that make you go Hmmmmmmmmm...!!
Why are you messing up your credit in the first place, and secondly not taking responsibility for YOUR actions and inactions. Do the right thing for both of you and stop enabling him to do the wrong things. Send a certified letter to the company cancelling the phone and a proposed payoff plan including the $200 fee. They might give you a hard time, but just stick to you guns and get out of the phone deal. You know I say this in the most kind and respectful way I can, but MY GAWD GIRL!!
Greeneyedlass you are my hero today. If you ever get to GA you can stop by the pool for an umbrella drink anytime!
