Lillie, I have a friend who says, "Be what you are." It's simple enough to say, but what if a person doesn't know what or who they are. These are people who are trying on personas to see if they fit.
If a person is lazy, evil, stupid, or a plethora of other human foibles, should he or she be those things? There may be people who want to make improvements before they show themselves to others. Some may feel that their shortcomings won't be accepted.
It seems to me that the most transparent people are the ones most comfortable in thier skins. It has nothing to do with appearance, popularity, or financial standing. Such people are like shining lights to everyone around them. They take time to listen, do their best to understand and empathize. There are folks on this BB that fit this description (ya'll know who you are ). Sometimes the most wounded are attracted to the warmth these people exude. They bask in the warmth, but when it comes time to reciprocate, ignorance or fear can seem like insurmonuntable obstacles.
Lillie, I'm hoping that this will make sense to you and it applies to your sitch.
I don't mind the sun sometime
The images it shows
I can taste you on my lips
And smell you in my clothes
Cinnamon and Sugar
And softly spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through someone elses eyes
BHS-"Pepper"
). Sometimes the most wounded are attracted to the warmth these people exude. They bask in the warmth, but when it comes time to reciprocate, ignorance or fear can seem like insurmonuntable obstacles. 
