I wanted to clarify something (as one can easily get misunderstood on the internet). When I said
Quote: I recognize that I cannot control what my bf does or how he treats me. I can only make a request and then stick around or not stick around.
by "not stick around" I didn't mean leave the R initially. I meant leave the room, refuse to engage. Like I used to do when he started on his second six pack. I would just go to bed. So today when he did that, instead of getting into it with him, I did not have breakfast with him.
Later in the day, something good happened. I called him on the phone, and he was telling me some stuff, and I kind of interrupted him a few times, and I recognized the occasion as one of those times that he usually snaps at me but he didn't. I realized this after we hung up the phone. Because he didn't snap at me, making me defensive, and starting an argument, I was able to see that my interrupting him is really annoying, and that if I would just wait a second, he would get to what I'm interrupting about, and I wouldn't do it at all. If he had snapped at me, I would have been mad at HIM and wouldn't have seen myself. I would have been distracted. Kind of like "remove the beam from your own eye before you go after the mote in your brother's eye." So I called him back and told him this: that I could see, since he refrained from snapping at me, that my behavior in this regard is REALLY aggravating. By not reacting to me, he created an opportunity for me to discover this ABOUT myself FOR myself. He got it. I got it. We both got it.
