I keep seeing your hints, and wish I could tell you about it.
Although my H and I are not piecing (we are only legally separated but he refers to me in hi posts to a website as his 'ex-wife'. ) I am am trying to salvage some of the tatters of our M!
All I CAN say, and others here will bear me out, is that things don't seem to ever progress in a smooth continuum - they go up and down and up and down. The rollercoaster.
Like, two weekends ago, my H invited me up to his place this weekend for the first time since the bomb (that is, for the first time without OW2 being there) and now all week he has been strangely flat and uncommunicative.
Some people have used the illustration of a swinging pendulum to descibe the way WASs behave. there ae inswings towards you, followed by an outswing away from you.
If you know and expect this, you won't be so devasted each time it happens.
Have you read the six stages of MLC, which you can find over on the MLC forum?
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
Thank you for your reply and your suggestion of checking out MLC. I haven't looked into that forum at all because it just doesn't seem possible to me that SO is in the throws of a MLC, but perhaps I am too hasty.
I'm sharing a quote from my own thread about something I learned last night in relation to my own question:
Quote: My C made an interesting observation. I told him about everything that SO had said to me, and all of the interactions, both positive and negative. I was trying to process my puzzlement over the emergence/retreat cycle. My C uses good metaphors to help his clients understand things. He said, "SO threw an awful lot of logs on the fire, and maybe [the fire] just got too bright for him." I thought this made good sense and was a good image. [Perhaps that's what's going with your SOs, if you're seeing this same kind of pattern beginning to emerge.] My C also pointed out that sometimes people want intimacy, and then when they get it, they find it too intense and they need to back off. I thought this also made sense, both in the present sitch and in the past interactions of our R.
I liked the "fire" imagery, and it fits really well with my SO (he's a very passionate person, about all aspects of his life).
) I am am trying to salvage some of the tatters of our M!
