Quote: He just got off the phone with his mother, he asked her about the picture of OW (he told me not to get pissed that he talked to her about it) and she said that when she spoke with me last she still did not see that picture. I told him that was not the point. I did not care if she ever actually got to see it - the point is she knew about her and requested the visual.
Remember, his Mom requesting something is HER issue, not yours. You don't own that, she does.
Quote: But anyway. We talked for about an hour voicing our fears and hang ups, it put uf both in bad mood but I guess it's part of the process. Now the goal is (for me at least) to act AS IF, be upbeat and carefree for the longest time before another R talk happens (if it happens). He took a day off tomorrow (I have errands to run but we will be spending majority of 3 day weekend together) so we'll be doing a lot of DBing.
You are expressing your fears and hang ups. He is expressing his fears and hang ups. That is awesome. He feels like he can talk to you about these things. It may hurt, but you're talking and being open and honest. And he listened to your fears and hang ups? That's great too. The feeling are there. Just process them. He's talking to you. You're talking to him. Be validating, his fears are his. Next step: find out what his needs and wants are. They may hurt, but you're talking! Openly! That's awesome...
I know the bad feeling and the past hurt is surfacing, don't let that kill your PMA. Getting this stuff out in the open and processing it is a good step, the pain will be worth it. You have endured so much, what is a few more months with openeness, love, and feelings, bad or good?
