I am so happy for you! I know things seem hard sometimes and all your emotions are rushing back now that you are getting what you want, but you can do this. Did you ever read MF's threads that I told you about on Hope's thread? Read them. This guy is an inspiration to those dealing with an affair. He has so much strength and patience. It will also show you that you still have a lot of work to do so you need to hang in there and keep DBing.
You have got to stop snooping. Trusting H is not about him. It is about being able to trust yourself and knowing you can handle whatever may come your way. It is going to be a long process, but you can get there.
I had access to every bank and email account of H's and I did need access during our divorce to protect myself financially. However, I still had access when I no longer needed it, and it was destroying my sanity and my relationship with H. No good came out of it. H continued to not be trustworthy because he knew that no matter what he did I wouldn't trust him.
I also thought H owed it to me to prove that he was trustworthy. I now realize that it doesn't work that way. As crazy as it sounds, H needs to relearn how to trust you also. I know he had OW, but he needs to relearn to trust that you trust him. My having access to H's account was making me crazy. It got so bad that I told H to change his codes because I had them, and if are marriage was ever going to have a chance again, I needed to trust him. I don't know if he is truly trustworthy yet, but I know he is cable of being trustworthy. To get there though, I first needed to trust myself. Checking his accounts was like an obsession that I couldn't stop. Once he changed his accounts, the momentum of my obsessing over H's actions stopped. I then was able to concentrate on myself and what I needed to change instead of focusing on H and all of his faults.
I will post more later, but right now I need to get to bed.
Congratulations! Remember life is hard, and it isn't going to get easier. You are doing the right thing by working to save your marriage. If you don't do the work with H, you will just have to do it with whoever you meet next, and they may be worse!
