No, it's not a mistake. Miracles do happen. And to me out of all people. Let me start from the beginning.
Friday night when I was posting saying that he did not call but I'm giving him benefit of the doubt (something that I never used to do- I would leash out with anger before he would be able to say anything) and I was right to do so. Turns out his phone did die and he was extremely appologetic about the fact he could not call. We made quick dinner and watched some TV. Called it a night and went to bed. Next morning - Saturday we made breakfast and I decided to bring up the issue of me moving out and his need to start refinancing process because I did not want him to get stuck with the bills and not be able to pay and ruin my credit history in the process. I told him that I'm looking to move out by the end of Feb. He seemed little weird about it but we couldn't talk because a friend of my called with emergency asking me to be her chaufer for a bit since her car could not fit what she needed to fit in it.
When I came back instead of going back to convo we were at he just asked about what are the plans for the rest of the day (he's been asking me lately if I'm going out over the weekend) and if I wanted to go with him to get the frames for the collages I made since he wanted to fix them for me. We ended up going to an art store and spending there about 2 hrs. We went out for great ice cream at the place next door (he bought) and once we came home I went out to meet up with a friend. I told him I'll be back for dinner (he was cooking again) and I did. We ate and watched a movie, just before coming upstairs and calling it a night I sat down at his computer to check my mail and I noticed that the folder with her pictures (OW) was renamed to her initials. It got me sooooooo angry! What is the point? I couldn't hold it and told him that it made no difference to me what he calls the folder and that just comes down to the trust that I need to feel in order to stay friends. He said I can trash the folder cous he doesn't care, I said that I'm not about to do that since it's not my problem and not my place to do so. I also suspect (I told him that) he has the pictures in his e-mail so there is no point in lying and pretending. He said he doesn't, I told him how disapointed I was in him and the rest of his family.
That's what got his attention. Being that I gave up on us I decided to hold nothing back. I told him about the fact that his parents never called me to see how I was doing, told him how much the attitude change hurt me (from his mom being supporting to telling me to move out) that I knew she requested the picture of the OW.
We had a very long talk about my parents, his parents, his previous actions, my transformation- the whole nine yards. The bottom line to all that: he knew what he wanted in Oct, Nov, even in Dec. He wanted out and he did not give a squat about me and my feelings (yeah, I got that part pretty clear). But now he doesn't know, he is amazed by how I'm conducting myself and how different I am. He started to feel comfort in the past two weeks when we would be spending time together. He would find himself looking forward to being with me where as before he could not stand being under the same roof (yeah, he was pretty honest about all that meaning what he was saying earlier was a complete lie). He found himself starting to trust me again.
Suddenly he calls me over (he was sitting in a chair, I was on the couch) and he grabs me, hugs me, kisses me deeply (French ) and tells me that he loves me. That he wants to walk the dog and spend the night with me. I was floored by those developments and cautious at the same time because I did not know where it was going to lead. We ended up having amazing night with candles, wine, whipped cream and he kept pulling me towards him at night. At one point I asked him if he was okay, he said "yes, I'm getting there".
Next morning we went to our favorite breakfast place, still kissing and hugging, him grabbing my hand and knee as I was driving. In the restaurant he suddenly took my hand and asked if I was willing to give it another shot . I told him it will take hard work on both our parts, that I still will be struggling with trust and confidence knowing that she (OW) works with him, he said that it's something I'm going to have to learn and decide myself but he loves me and he wants to make it work. He admitted that he has a lot of issues to work on but he is seeing a psychiatrist that he feels helps him a lot. He knows it will take time and might not work out but he really wants to give it a chance because he realized how much we had and he doesn't want to throw it away.
So here I am folks - piecing it together.....I'm scared, I'm cautious and time will tell
MovingForward Thank you for encouragement - I will be really needing it now. I am walking on clouds but I'm so scared that I"m going to fall- that I'll come home and he'll change his mind or that I will never get that trust and confidence back.
I need to catch up on your sitch - I haven't been on line for the past couple of days due to the developements. I'm really sorry to hear about your sitch but I guess you're at a good place with yourself if you are the one filing. Let me read up and then I'll see what I can add. Be strong!
Defnitelly. He said it himself that he feels much more calm and can think more clearly now. The good news is that the changes started to happen in him before he got on them so hopefully he will not revert once he is off of them or even before.
No one could be happier for you than myself. You've given me so much support over the past couple of months. You deserve this. Just remember to take it slow and easy. You'll be fine, just be ready for the hard work that's still ahead for both of you.
Great News!!!
ShawnL
So if you're tired of that same old story, turn some pages. I'll be ready when you are able, to roll with the changes. - REO Speedwagon
Holy Crap on a stick CRUSHED!!!!! F-ing awesome! Keep doing what you are doing, it worked. Thats gonna be the hard part, keeping the changes. I had a great convo with my H last night. maybe you can give me some pointers!!! I am ssooooooooooo happy for you. Guess you actually planning to leave the area pulled him up short! But don't disappear on us like LostinFl did, we want to hear how its going a month from now, ok??? Ok Shawn, you should be next to be posting here!!!!
Great news, crushed! I'm really happy for you! I always wonder if I should come to piecing myself. My H and I are spending lots of time together and things are going well, but I just can't seem to get to the point where I feel like it is piecing. We don't live together and probably won't in the near future, but he is accepting more invitations from me and seems to enjoy my company.
Maybe I should spend more time on this forum and see what works here. I wish you all the best, Crushed!
) and tells me that he loves me. That he wants to walk the dog and spend the night with me. I was floored by those developments and cautious at the same time because I did not know where it was going to lead. We ended up having amazing night with candles, wine, whipped cream 
and he kept pulling me towards him at night. At one point I asked him if he was okay, he said "yes, I'm getting there". 
. I told him it will take hard work on both our parts, that I still will be struggling with trust and confidence knowing that she (OW) works with him, he said that it's something I'm going to have to learn and decide myself but he loves me and he wants to make it work. He admitted that he has a lot of issues to work on but he is seeing a psychiatrist that he feels helps him a lot. He knows it will take time and might not work out but he really wants to give it a chance because he realized how much we had and he doesn't want to throw it away.
