Quote: If I were bolete, I'd be trying to gently continue the conversation to get at the heart of the matter. Especially since they are committed to staying married.
We're spending at least an hour every day taking long walks and discussing feelings, hopes, fears, possibilities...and this is going to continue. When sex isn't working, you've got to work on all the other things that are holding your marriage together, and we're doing that too.
[quote[If she was wanting out of the M, I'd say more power to her..but she's not. She is holding his sexuality hostage along with her own.
Oh come on, she's not holding me hostage. She doesn't have a gun. If I decided I wanted sex more than I wanted the marriage, I could divorce her. Frankly, if I had an affair, I think she would forgive me, or if I pushed for an open marriage she would probably consent, but I think either of these would eventually lead the marriage to fall apart (and I don't believe in these things anyway, but it took me about a week of serious pondering to remember what my values and beliefs are).
Quote: So she'd better be DAMN sure that she is correct in her thinking and is not letting naivete lead her into a declaration of something she's not. Being aroused by naked chicks does not a lesbian make.
I think she's taking this process very, very seriously.
Quote: She can't have it both ways, I guess is what my gut feeling is.
If I had to choose between giving up sex and giving up my wife, it would be like choosing whether to have my left arm or my right arm amputated. Since I'm right handed, it's actually a clear choice, but not an easy one. And I do want to keep my wife. That means she doesn't actually *have* to choose one or the other, but it's gonna hurt if I don't find some way to keep both.
Quote: However, it's not my M and I wish the both of them the best of luck in whatever path they choose.
