OK, she's lesbian. Now what?

[NotATLDave]

Is there a way to tell if your W is bisexual or lesbian? This is actually something I've been struggling with for a long time. I've made joking references to it here and despite our progress, I still sometimes feel like there might be something to this. I *know* that the diagnosis cannot be made on this board and that I'm probably going to sound silly with this but now that we have some people with experience here (SD and bollette), I'd be curious to know if I should pursue this more during my C sessions. If my W is hiding something like that, it would break my heart that to think she's living with such fear. I'd prefer it if she came clean like bollete's W. Because seriously...I've always felt like she was hiding something and I would like to settle my anxiety about that. So here's my list of clues...sorry if I sounds like a dork...

Clue 1.
In highschool (years before we were dating), a friend of her told me that she had fooled around with my future W. I always assumed they were just playing around...maybe that's all it was.

Clue 2.
In highschool she dated a boy who we all knew was gay (maybe before he realized it) and in college, she maintained a long distance relationship w/ him for almost a couple years. I mean, who can maintain a long distance R more than a couple months after HS? I saw this as a benefit...she's damn committed. But it's almost impossible for me to believe that she was clueless about his orientation.

Clue 3.
Around the time we were married, I was at party where a drunk, college acquaintance told me that my W was a lesbian. He had gone to HS w/ her and probably heard the story form Clue 1.

Clue 4.
This may be a weird stretch but each year, we attend a party with a large number of gay and lesbians attending. My W wears a different fragrance. I had once heard that this particular fragrance is popular amongst the "lipstick-lesbian" crowd.

Clue 5.
We were at a nightclub last year and I glanced over and she was engaged in a french kiss with another woman (who apparently initiated a kiss with her after my W complimented her shoes). This was right at the time we were breaking the gridlock, doing PM stuff, and starting to ML more often.

Clue 6.
In general, she seems to be a magnet for women. I've heard many straight women say things like "If I were into women, I would be all over your W". I know this has nothing to do w/ my W's orientation but maybe she has some "vibe".

Now, I could also list a ton of clues why she is straight. She has mentioned that certain guys are hot, she orgasms with me during intercourse and seems to like sex. I also sometimes thinks that she might just be a very LD bisexual but at other times, I think she's terrified to explore or open herself up to these other possibilities.

It's unsettling that I keep coming back to this topic.