OK, she's lesbian. Now what?

[StubbornDyke]

Honestly, after typing that in, I just started laughing

LOL. That's the point. It's so foreign that your brain can't even get there.

And a lot of what she's going through is dealing with the fact that she *is* married to me, *not* sexually attracted to me, and dealing with my attraction to her. She's wrestling with her identity and the meaning of our marriage. But so far, not with dating or living with other women.

I hear you, but what I'm getting at is that this is not just one little changed detail that means a little adjustment in the current context. This is a tectonic revelation that shifts the earth on its axis. No telling where it will land, but EVERYTHING will be called into question, whether you like it or not, and whether she likes it or not.

When I ask her what she longs for in a woman, she talks about physical things

Sigh. Even if you do all you can, you can't do that.

Thanks for clarifying your comment about the kids.

Do you have a sufficient support system in place for YOU? Friends, therapist?

Take good care.