Well I too am happy to see you back around these parts! If you recall your old threads were the among the very first ones I read when I came to the BB.
And I just wanted to say that I understand your comment about reading other sitches and then looking at your own issues, but you know, you just can't 'compare' when it comes to relationships. It does help to read other stories and see how people solve different problems. But remember that someone's bad situation does not make yours good by default, nor vice versa. Clearly your issue of resentment has brought you back here and bothers you - that in & of itself is worthy of your thorough examination in my book.
Quote: If you recall your old threads were the among the very first ones I read when I came to the BB.
gosh, your making me blush!
thanks h2h for coming by and visiting. and thanks also for the encourgement that even my own problems are worth looking into.
perspective is a funny thing ya know? when you do take the time to read other threads you glean so much from them that can truly change your perspective.
i have been spending more time right now trying to catch up with so many that my "problems" have been put on the back burner.
but i say that as a good thing. being back on board has already helped me focus on looking for the positives, something that i have sorely been out of the habit of for awhile. focusing on the positive instead of the negative is a booster!
anyhoo, i need to find you, are you still in newcomers?
Yup, still in Newcomers . . . still not in Piecing, but slowly getting myself back together again. And staying on the board has been extremely helpful in that process.
I agree, perspective sometimes IS everything. A good dose of perspective & keeping up with good habits can make a world of difference! And all problems, big or small are worth clearing out of our way.
Great to see you. I was just thinking about you yesterday and decided it was time to email you and see what the heck was going on. Thanks for popping in on my thread. I'll probably make another post later -- got some good info to share.
See ya!
Me 47 Ex H 46 Bomb 9/02 D final 3/04 Ex H now married to OW
------------ This is surviving. There is no such thing as a normal life, there's just life. So get on with it and enjoy it!
I'm anxious to hear what you're going to say--you seem to have a "nak" for surprises!
But we start with what resentment is all about: not feeling as though we are important enough to prioritize our needs so we can better take care of those around us.
I'm glad you're feeling better just by starting a new thread (with a new name). For me, sometimes the simple journaling helps me sort things out for myself--even without input from the peanut gallery.
Cheerio and hugs!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
pam - thanks for the sunshine, here in the south we desperately need it...imagine living in the south and having an ice storm, what the heck is that about????
h2h - i will certainly pay you a visit in newcomers, i have to get thru this weekend first tho...in laws coming for the weekend...LOL
mal - so nice of you to visit sweetie, i briefly read over your thread, boy you have LOTS happening in your life right now...egads, how exciting!!!
bets - i swear woman, you are most assuredly in the wrong line of work, you should be a counselor!!! anytime i 'chat' with you i come away with something new...yes, my epiphany ... i am still 'considering' it - processing it in my head. the ole noggin doesn't work the way it did at one time - i have a pretty busy weekend so you probably wont see me around, but i will post, i promise
michele - hehe - it's funny that you said that little rhyme - it's something i sing to my daughter all the time! i looking forward to getting to know you better also.
******************
thanks for the visits everyone. it sure is tough to get back to the posting again. i really do need to focus on this cause it's like this nagging little woodpecker is pecking at my brain saying, handle this, handle this, handle this, and it's making me crazy!!!
whew, glad the weekend is over! having an extra four people in the house is certainly something to pull out your hair for! glad that's over
well let's get down to brass tax...
i am having a really hard time right now. i am fostering lots of resentment towards hubby altho things seem to be going very well.
let me just say up front that in the "intimacy" department - things have not changed. bascially when i went on hiatus from posting my main issue was that my hubby and i have no "intimacy" - i put it in quotes because plain and simple we are still not having sex.
that in itself is not the worst. someone posted (i think it was lostlove) about what exactly intimacy was, and quite frankly the "sex" is not what i am missing. that is not what i call intimacy in itself. i am missing the affection, the hand holding, the long talks, the snuggling with your best friend - those things are intimacy to me.
i probably should have started by saying, that overall, our marriage is actually the best it has ever been. we are both better people than before the "bomb". we are both better parents. we both respect each other much more than before. and if asked when the last time we had a knock down drag out, i really couldn't tell you.
most of the old timers remember that money was an issue for me - basically my hubby's spending habits really ate at me, he never saved for the future. happy to announce we actually have a savings account (first one since we have been married) and we actually put money into it weekly - it has grown over the last six months into something we are both very proud of.
we talk about our future quite often. we talk about buying a house. we talk about what direction we want are kids to go in. things that NEVER happened before the bomb.
so basically, all the things that majorally irritated me BEFORE the bomb have been handled. we have both grown into respectable adults and parents.
i just don't know where to go with the whole intimacy thing. bets and i had a short chat last week sometime when i brought this up and she so simply asked "have you asked for it" - and you know, i could have been hit with a brick on my head it would have hurt less.
how simple is that? michele tells us in her book to "ask for what you want" - so then, the question is, why haven't i asked for it?
i ask myself that a million times a day. "just say something" i say to myself, but no, i keep it inside. at the core i do believe it's because i still feel 'not worthy' or as bets so well put it 'not important enough' - ouch, that hurts.
i feel 'important enough' in just about every avenue in my life except with my husband. after a year and a half, i am still reeling with insecurity in our relationship - still wrestling every day in my mind with the thoughts of 'what did i do wrong' - and then getting mad at myself because i know i was not to 'blame' - oh yeah, it's a vicious cycle.
ok - i have more to write, but i have to come back to this...time for me to start my day with all the kids...
And staying on the board has been extremely helpful in that process. 
Betsey