Yay Darren, way to go. YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING!!!!! I know it will be hard to let go of the excitement of the ow, but I bet you will find a lot with your wife if you can get some alone time together. I cant imagine having 3 little ones so close together, you have to be very busy as parents.
I want to second what Trying said about ow. I would guess that she will try all kinds of things to suck you back in. be on guard. DON'T give in. YOU CAN DO THIS!
As for the guilt you feel for hurting ow, give yourself a break. I think it's really important for you to realize that unless she didnt realize you were married, she freely chose to get involved ( encouraged you, maybe???) All of us make choices every day in our lives, and for every choice there is a consequence. If she failed to consider the possiblity/likelihood of her house of cards falling down around her, that is her problem...hopefully she will learn from her mistakes and be a wiser and more honest person the next time around.
Remember, there's a lot of truth in that old adage "it takes 2 to tango"...if she hadnt been so willing to put on her dancing shoes and take to the floor, it couldnt have happened, could it???? so, sure, some of it is your responsiblity, but certainly not all.
