Thanks Trying this is so helpful, making me see the light. I don't really thinks she cares about what harm she is doing. I do want to clarify I'm not rying to blame anyone but myself this is all my fault and it has to be me that ends it. I am being a wuss it is bizarre because what keeps me from ending it is I don't want to hurt anyone even the ow, but in doing that I'm risking hurting the one i love the most. I guess if the ow is upset at me for doing whats right there isn't much I can do or should do about it, we both knew what we were getting into. If she hates me for it then I just have to accept that and it will make the end and no contact easier. It is a shame that we ruined a friendship by crossing the line but now its keeping my marriage and family that is all I really care about.
To try and answer some of your questions and other back ground. age low 30's wife too together and married 6+ 3 young kids back to back to back. So the house is very busy and very fun not burdensome but a little stressful sometimes but not bad. I have not cheated before even on girlfreinds or anything in fact I was very much against it what a hypocrit huh? This one evolved and I realized I was too weak to stop it.
In another topic you asked the question is it possible to love two people at the sametime I think it is, that is what I felt but then I realized like Amy has sad in her boards, It was just that newness and infatuation thing and passion that felt like love.
I think now after getting feedback and reading things that with the kids and everything that change and the time alone together that we don't get much anymore may be some explanation. Plus some of the other things you said were very insightful and I think true.
I need to be more romantic with my wife and keep things fresh and new and keep the passion growing, we haven't lost it but now that I look at it we hit that leveling off period I guess with the changes in our family.
One other thing I think you and some others have said in other threads is they feel somewhat responsible for their W or H to have an affair. It is not your fault at all it is entirely on the one who cheats, like you said I need to work on things or communicate my feelings and desires I can't expect my mind to be read. This should be somewhat easy I hope cause my M is good except for me trying to screw it up, and I need to work on making it better instead of potentially destroying it.
I have started the process of ending the A and I need to start the procees of being a better Husband and Father, I have always felt I was good but now realize I can be much better and need to be.
