I think that if you really look there is something that draws you to this woman. One of the books I read says that everyone has five basic needs and that they need to be met by our spouses. Men are basically different than woman but not always. Men's top needs are as follows 1.Sexual Fulfilment 2.Recreational Companionship 3.Attractive Spouse 4. Domestic Support 5.Admiration Now there are others but these tend to be the ones most men say are their basic needs.
Yes well my H didn't think anyone knew or suspected but now that it's out you would be surprised at how many people knew and kept their mouth shut until I knew. You can not keep it hid someone knows just as you sought this site do you think she has not sought some one to talk to to confess. Darren I am not being mean but no one hides that well believe me someone knows and your wife is not stupid their are little things that we all do to give things away. For you I hope no one does know. My H happened to work her in also and didn't take time away from home or work. He just stopped by for lunch or breakfast by leaving a little early. He would stop on his way across town to bid work or see a friend. These are all lies don't kid yourself.
Yes if you want to end it break all contact do you hear all contact.Darren as I said earlier she doesn't feel like you feel. I think and I don't mean to be rude but if she knew what it felt like to be cheated on then she is worse for doing it to someone else. you may not have known the pain and damage this affair would cause but she did. So you think of that she knows what your wife will feel like if it comes out. the heart break the emotional stress the doubts about the way your wife willthen see herself. You may not have known but that woman knew. tell me does your wife know this woman has she met her talked to her? If so what did you feel seeing them together.
Well if it just a physical attraction then I would ask how long have you been married? My H said it was just physical with the first few woman but that he now loves this last one. What is different now with your wife than when you first married? Do you try to add something to that relationship at home? Not what you are doing with the affair partner but something different for your wife. As we age things change and we become bored with the same thing the same way in the same place. Chnage something like go away for an evening rent a hotel room take her for a nice dinner dancing or to cncert then go to hotel have candles music flowers buy her something she would never by herself. Try to adventure to your marriage. You have given to much to this other woman and cheated your wife of meeting this need. Show her tell her what you now like what you find to be a turn on. This is probably the most important thing you can do but talk to her share with her. Ow are not wives so you can say and do things you have dreamed of or read about heard about and are not comfortable enough to discuss with wife. You view the time in the bedroom different with her. Grannie always said you can be a lady anywhere including the bedroom but some times a lady isn't what your man wants. The same goes for you treating her the same old way has probably lost some of the original appeal and she is not comfortable telling you what she now needs. Think of her as a bride not as the wife show her your love bath her feed her fruits such as grapes and berries. Then rub her with lotion or oil this will not only before her but for you. Get some books see what oils and lotions will add to the moment. You get back what you put out.
As Isaid before what you share with this other woman is not a friendship. So don't end it friendly just end it. I'm not saying be mean or hurtful to her although at this time in my life I would like to tell you to be mean. I would like for this other woman to be hurt for what she has done and the chance she took on causing pain to your wife. I know you don't see it that way but from a wife who has been betrayed I would love to see one of the ow hurt. But you just need to tell her it's over and that you do not want any form of contact from her ever. Be firm and think about talking to counselor. You will feel so much better once you can hear the words and release the guilt. Also think about telling your wife believe me it will be better coming from you than someone else. For if someone else were to know that causes even more shame and humilation for the wife. If you honestly think that you can keep it hid and that she would not wish to stay and work on the marriage then I pray for you and hope that the truth never comes out. You will carry this with you and I really think that at some point it will be to much think about telling her not now but after you have ended it and aare commited to improving your marriage. It would lighten the burden and talk to God ask for his help with this.
Work on you find out what it was that allowed you to stray. One thing you have now found out what a wonderful live and family you have show them this new finding everyday. Tell them you love them you respect them. Dont get nothing from all of this.
Stay strong and no contact with the other woman none at all never. You wave to her never speak or email no phone calls no letters. NO CONTACT.
