I may be way off base here, but I'm guessing that you're not an American citizen and you feel that you're stuck with him due to residency/greencard requirements. I can't remember the exact time required, but I know that CIS (formerly INS) will give greencards to foreign spouses of American citizens, but requires that you stay married for some specified timespan. If that's the case, find yourself an immigration lawyer. I'm sure there's some way around the time requirement in cases of abuse.
If I'm wrong, sorry - just ignore this. But if I'm right, there are things you can do besides staying in an abusive M and watching the calendar.
You need to get out of this marriage. This is a BB for people who are trying to be more or less hopeful about fixing a SSM. I don't think any of us would advise you that you should be more or less hopeful about fixing a physically abusive relationship. I don't care if you smoke crack, haven't cleaned the house in a year and are currently sleeping with your H's brother and eight of his cousins. It is NOT YOUR FAULT. NOBODY has the right to hit you and you should LEAVE NOW because your worst case scenario is very scary.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
I agree that you should leave now. It sounds as if you are in physical danger.
BUT you don't have to leave this BB. We're not cutting you off from the opportunity to vent here and feel you have some contact with people who support... but the people here aren't in physically dangerous situations. You need to find someone in your area that you can get help from. Ask yourself: if you had a daughter in this situation, would you tell her to stay or go immediately?
I'm going to chime in and say the same thing - get out now. Think of it this way - would you want to have children with this man - with the thought in your head all the time that he 'might' get angry, loose his temper and...???
Marriage gets harder, not easier, with time. It takes two mature people to navigate these waters.
Protect yourself, find out what resources you have available to you in case you need to get out fast. As others have said, no matter WHAT your situation is, you are worth something as a person, and your safety is what should come first.
You've wandered into a bunch of insightful, caring people, but if you do want to find people who's situation may more closely match your own, here's a site with a lot of information, and another caring BB.
given_up. There are a lot of good people here wanting to help up.
given_up wrote --------------- Yes, he threatened me a few times that if I decided to divorce him, he would do everything possible to make the divorce as painful as it can be. ----------------
Is your H name Clark XYZ from Montana? If it is, my daughter went out with him about about 5 years age. She had to get a restraining order to stop his antics and threats. If it is not Clark XYZ he sounds like his perverbial twin.
--------------------- There are few things that I can not discuss here, but I do depend on him in a certain way -----------------
You get the best advice if you tell us why you "depend" on your H. Please explain what you mean by "I depend on him." We have heard it all and are not surprised at the reasons and answers people post. Someone has been through something simmilar to what you are going through now.
