Corri, he hit me twice. In both cases he refused to admit that what he did was wrong, he said I deserved it. Yes, he threatened me a few times that if I decided to divorce him, he would do everything possible to make the divorce as painful as it can be. There are few things that I can not discuss here, but I do depend on him in a certain way (at least for now). And he uses it against me each time I bring up divorce. Actually, I mentioned "separation" several times, but he wants us either to be together and married, or separate and divorced. He does not agree with temporary separation, which could probably help us to evaluate our relationship from a distance.
My exit plan? I will wait until I no longer depend on him. Thanks God that will happen in a year or so. I will try to remain friends with him, but I am not sure he will want it. He will most likely turn into my worst enemy (his own words).
The thing is I have never been married/divorced before. This is my first marriage, and it went wrong from the very beginning. I never knew what it's like to be happy with a man I love.... Do you know what I consider myself now? His "mother". I take care of him, give him advice, cook and clean, buy food and other things for household... I do everything that a normal mother would do, that explains why we do not have sex:). I do not know what will happen when I meet another man I'll like... Will I ever be able to marry someone without fear that my marriage will fail as my first one? What is it like to be happily married?
