I am also on the other side of a chemical dependancy problem and with that, comes an absolute breach of trust and without trust, it's very hard to have intimacy(or affection).
Your H probably has a huge wall up. He has to in order to protect himself emotionally from your "relapses".
The best thing you can do for your marriage, is to help yourself. Are you in any kind of program for the dependancy problem? Are you in counselling? After your affair, did you do any trust rebuilding?
