Two misc. topics

[MJontheMend]

I have to say my H's remarks rather p*ssed me off but they didn't hurt my feelings. The fight we had about whether or not I was sexy was almost an intellectual argument. I was basically claiming that I was sexy for reasons a,b and c and therefore he ought to be sexually attracted to me. He was making the counter-argument that since he wasn't sexually attracted to me, I must not be sexy for reasons x,y and z. At that point, I tried to prove that my reality was the objective reality by stating that most men would be attracted to me. So, he claimed that I was wrong and I would have to "take my game up a notch" if I were single and looking. Then he said "Of course, if you did that then I would be attracted to you too and regret that we weren't together anymore.". This remark and the way that he said it made me realize that he really was trying to be honest and not just trying to cut me down. Basically, he believes that the fact that we don't have sex as frequently as I would like is 50% my fault because I don't go to enough trouble to make myself sexy or attractive. He acknowledges that he is also partially to "blame" because of his low drive but claims that he can't do anything about that except take herbal supplements or watch porn so it is up to me to take the initiative in terms of sexiness since I am the one who wants more sex.