Quote: Lillepearl, I found you comments constructive and forthright from the heart.
Thanks, TAG. My words were sincere and from the heart and they were NOT meant to be insulting.
My point in my latter posts is that just because someone pushes your hot buttons, you don't have to respond to them. You can ask yourself, "Why does that piss me off so much?"
Because we all are virtual strangers on this board and only know snippets of each other's stories, everything posted here is pure opinion and speculation. So the question is, "Why can a complete stranger, who really doesn't know me or my H make me so flippin' mad?" This is a question worth spending some time with.
Corri has worked so hard to make this M work. She has wrought extraordinary changes in herself... and now her H has raised the bar-- or at least moved it somewhere. This is rotten, hurtful, and quite puzzling.
He's pushing her hot buttons all over the place, starting with that mouth thing and going on from there. My take on this-- as a stranger who has only been reading this board for a few months-- is that he is deliberately pushing her buttons. And she responds in kind with anger, boundaries that are almost ultimatums (ultimata?)-- who wouldn't?
Although I did not intend my original post to push her buttons, in fact, it did, so I suggested she recognize that asking me to stop is just one more of those things she cannot control. She cannot control what I do or write any more than she can control him.
I don't want Corri to be mad at me. I'm just as scared of her as anyone. I feel her wrath and that of Mrs. NOP but you know what: I'm a pretty darned good observer and analyst of behavior, and I decided to speak the truth as I saw it.
Corri, I think your husband is telling you that you cannot control him, and he is doing it in a clumsy, mean, and not very effective way.
I'm sorry I hurt you, but there could be truth in what I say. Goodness knows, you pride yourself on being a "straight from the hip no frills call it like I see it" gal. My opinions are only my opinions; they could be wrong. But at least examine what I said once you're over being really mad, and see if you find something helpful there.
Like they say in Alanon-- take what you want and leave the rest.
