I'm all for the house at the beach. That way, while your H is at work and mine at church, and your boys and my girls are playing in the ocean, you and I can sit in our beach chairs with a blender (with a verrrrrrry long extension cord) and have ourselves a blast. I used to tend bar while I was in college and I know a good number of frozen drinks to keep us cool.
So, while I think your original attitude is admirable (though I don't know that I could pull it off without resentment, but that's me), I still would be pissy with the fact that you have no input into this. I see your H digging in his heels and becoming more determined to take the job, no matter what. Then what?
How about you giving your input in terms of the "then what" part. That is, you could sit down together and decide what is a reasonable amount of time to give the new job a shot and nail down a few specifics, as they pertain to your family. Such as: Time frame (how long will he stay at the job before you two sit down and assess how it's going); hours worked (how long will he work long hours before you two sit down and assess what needs to be done), ETC. You must have some input into this big decision. I think your attitude is admirable, as I said, but I see too many red flags all over it.
Also has he given any thought to what his long range plans are? A retirement age, for instance?
At any rate, I think you have an opportunity to step in and help him formulate his "after he takes the job" plan. I think it's a foregone conclusion that he will take it (unfortunately) but I believe you can have a tremendous amount of influence from this point on. IF he doesn't sense that you are trying to make the decision for him. Nobody likes that.
I am amazed at his lack of foresight. I wish he was looking at more of a long term goal, rather than a live in the moment type deal. I don't know if this is a gender thing but my H is amazingly unable to both make long term goals and follow them. He gets impatient and acts impulsively, eventually.
