Dunno

[SolidMechanic]

Corri,

I'm with NOP on this. It's not so much a matter of power but of full mutual consent in really important issues. For example, how would your H feel if you drove home with a brand new BMW 545i without consulting him about the purchase?

Corri: I think I'd like a new Beemer. What do you think, H?

H: You already have a perfectly good car. Plus, it's too expensive.

Corri: You know what? I think I'll get it anyway. I don't want to talk about it anymore.

Part of being married is arriving at a consensus on important decisions. Your H just doesn't get it. Talk about lack of respect!

I feel for you. Your damned if you do, damned if you don't. If you tell him you don't want him to take the job and he "succumbs" to your wishes he might end up resenting you for it.

I think, at the very least, you need to tell him your opinion of how this move will affect you, your marriage, and your family. That you're not happy now and you won't be happy if he takes the job. It's especially important that you point out to him the simple principle of mutual consent on all decision that affect the marriage.

Then if he still takes the job you should go ahead and buy that BMW.

SM