Corri said: ------------- Case closed. End of discussion. He doesn't want to hear it, he doesn't want to feel guilty, he wants the job, and that's that. -------------
Case NOT closed, Discussion NOT over. Guilty conscience NOT alleviated.
Does he have a special dispensation for unilateral action in your marriage, and for your family?
Quote ------------- I am now working on accepting his actions and decisions, for this is NOT a hill I am willing to die on. I have to be honest and say that I am angry and I very much resent his tunnel vision. I do not want to feel that way and I am now working on getting it out of my system. --------------
You are working on eating a decision by your husband that every fiber of your being tells you is wrong from inception, to presentation, to final decision. Boundary time, big time.
If you won't stand up for your family on this hill, then which one? What will his next unilateral decision be? Another woman living with your family?
Quote: -------------- I have to say it is running very deep and I wonder why. I wonder at what fear there is inside of me that is causing such intense feelings. For as much as I think he should consider options just for his own good, I wonder what makes me so certain that if he does get this job, it will be awful? How could I know that? It could be, but it may not necessarily be that way. ------------
The intense feelings are from trying to eat pizza when you hate cheese. Where did that boundary go, by the way?
Stop running away from your basic instincts. They are there for a good reason. LISTEN TO THEM.
Quote: ------------- I am in the process of super-gluing my mouth shut. He needs to do what he needs to do. My top priority right now is working through these emotions of mine and putting them to rest. -------------
Is there a particular goal in playing the part of martyr ?
Your top goal is the well being of your family. Your husband tearing up your marriage is NOT good for your family.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
