Dunno

[MJontheMend]

I don't want to project onto to JJ (so forgive me if I am), but I am caught in the same fears she has. If I don't make the efforts for him, and constantly remind him and nudge him and prod him... I'm afraid it will all fall apart, for he has done nothing to show me he can or will... in fact, his actions lead me to believe he won't. That scares me.

I was actually thinking the same thing. It's sort of like my marriage is a bizarro world reflection of yours. Your H loves his job too much so he doesn't devote enough energy to the relationship to make you interested in sex. My H hates his job situation so much that he doesn't have enough energy to devote to sex and keep me interested in the relationship.

I've got to own that and accept it, stay true to myself, and hope like he!! that his efforts come sooner rather than later.

My H keeps indicating that he will be better able to work on becoming sexual once he has his job stress under control. So, like you, I am hoping for sooner rather than later. Except, I am probably more impatient than you. If summertime rolls around and I'm still not getting laid on a regular basis I think some definite consequences will attach to my boundaries.