OK, I'll admit it...I had to step back from my self centerdness and realize that you were not referring to me when you said...
Quote: Yeah, everyone can have it worse. No doubt about that. When in the bowels of self-pity, it is best to count your blessings, hm?
something about being in the bowels of anything just made me want to get out of there and also gave me an idea for you which you've already stated but may be clouded by your own visit to self pity land.
Quote: His job is taking its toll on his drive. It's taking a toll on him in many ways that he cannot see, physcially as well as mentally. You can only work 60+ hours a week for so long, I don't care who you are or what kind of work ethic you have.
OK so as others have thoughtfully pointed out he may have his own "issues" and "needs" that have him considering another 3-5 yr commitment to this job.
You have concerns about this new extended commitment for several reasons...some selfish and some not (the above statements are clearly NOT selfish) but unfortunately what may have come across from you in your "argument" with him were only the selfish ones. (your feeling neglected as a result of his time spent at work)
So then, perhaps if you haven't already had that discussion with him about it you could take some time to thoughtfully list out your reasons for and against his going for this new job both the selfish and the selfless but when discussing the matter with him start with the selfless ones...that'll (hopefully) make him more receptive to your "selfish" reasons.
