I thank you for all the concern. Maybe what I shouls try to make clear is that the problem is not just about the physical act of sex. That is only where it is most obvious. The problem is that when my wife lost her desire for sex, it affected EVERY part of her personality. It is just amazing to see how a persons sex drive really drives WHO they are. I think of this as the HD or LD personality. Michelle describes it in her book, LD women also become LD for affection. In effect, their love language is definitely NOT physical touch. For some people on her, the problem is JUST the sex part. For me, it is virtuatlly everything about the relationship, and it is all being driven by HER sex drive. I would kill to hold hands, to kiss her passionately (it has been many years), to cuddle on the couch, to flirt, to be PLAYFUL. This is all stuff outside the bedroom. It is a little hard to do this with a women whose love language is probably financial security.
Do I want to lose her? Not yet. But I can see the day when the kids are gone that staying with her would be a very undesireable option. Why would anyone want to stay in a roomate relationship? Heck, after reading PM, I know that I want a PM. But how the heck do you get there with someone that does not have the slightest sex drive? For this to work out in the end, she has some mighty big demons to face. So here I am in my boat by myself trying to figure out what change I can make in myself that might actually make her want to face her own demons. Lets face it, us HD guys have very little leverage with our wives, while they have tons of leverage with us(sex).
