In my H defense, I know I gave HIM plenty of hoops to jump through too. I think we all do. I think when anyone just points their finger at their spouse and what they need to change, well problems will continue.
One reason I LOVE Michelle's stuff is that it gets us to looking at ourselves and what we can change about us. For me, just for the sake of changing me. If my H reacts and changes in the process, GREAT. But I am not changing so that he will change! I am changing because I NEED TO. (We all NEED TO).
That I CAN do. I can't change him and don't care to anymore. I've truely come to the place that I accept him. He is certainly not perfect, but neither am I.
Unfortuntly I didn't hear him when he was talking about his sexual needs earlier in our marriage (no one's fault, just faulty communication) so there are a lot of things to get over. I don't know if he ever will. Ok, I'm sorry, I accept that he was very hurt. I love him. I hope things will get better between us.
But....I was thinking earlier this am. Talk to your wife. NOT in a fight. Find out her needs(first) (listen) and then ask if you can express yours. You'll have to figure out how. Read lots of good stuff on it and pick what seems to suit you. Yikes! Sometimes as hard as we try to do that right, it comes out wrong! On your part, when it comes out wrong from her....love her, overlook it. Keep trying. Don't give up.
