I'm afraid the deed is done, I sent H the card. It is wistful/rude, but jokey. NOT, definitely, one that could come from D and myself!!
Let's see what happens. H has told me he is a coward with women. He doesn't have to do anythig about it, there was no need for a reply. I am sure that getting a card on St Valentine's day, of any sort, is good for the ego. And I took a fair amount of initiative in our early years together. He later told me I should have made a move earlier!! (So much for the "we got married in a hurry, blah blah blah")
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
I don't know about that, Slowly.... but thanks for the thought.
OK, so I sent the card thingy yesterday and didn't receive the confirmation that H had viewed it till this morning.
Then, half way though the morning I saw that I had a new email from H. I have to admit, I was nervous. I didn't read his email till all my lessons were over, as I didn't want to be in a funk during them due to a bad reaction.
So, in my mind I was turning over all the possiblities - a polite thanks, nothing, an enthusiastic reponse, an angry one, cancelling my invitation up to his place as I just didn't get it that he doesn't ever, ever, ever, want to get back together with me, etc etc etc.... You know the script.
So, eventually I looked at the email, and H says he couldn't view the card as he couldn't allow the site to install a heap of cookies on his computer, but (as the card company has the word 'rude' in its title) he said, "I hope it was suitably direct and rude :-)"
By golly! H doesn't usually even do emoticons!
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
Thinking about this, I fancy I will just be vague about what was in the card and keep H guessing, if he is thinking about it at all. Perhaps a bit of light flirting and teasing is the way to go at this juncture?
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
I just remembered one more thing from the weekend. I asked H if he fancied a game of Scrabble, and he said, no thanks, it's too taxing right now and I don't feel like it.
Then he said, we can play when you come up to my place - I have a Scrabble set up there.
He didn't take our set, so he must have got hold of a set since he moved out less than two years ago, while recently he assured me he hadn't played for, God, years!!
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
LivnLearn - what a great DBer you are!! I give you tons of credit - keep it up. Most here don't have the opportunity. Let the card "sit". At least he knows you sent it, not knowing what it says is intriging!
I replied to H's email about the ecard with a short one-liner, a little private joke of ours.
This evening H rang and we talked for quite a while. Mainly H talking about his project, and he admitted, without prompting, that it really was all about his relationship with his father, which was historically terrible. I think his father was cold, unnemotional, sentimental and cruel, and self centred, and didn't support H in any of the normal things, let alone in any special way. He was NOT a decent, caring father to him. I was always aware of this, but perhaps ignorant about how much this really affected H today. This whole current project of H's is SOOOOO much about working through H's feelings about his father and himself.
I listened and validated as much as I could.
Then H spoke to D for a bit, and asked for the phone to be passed back to me. H said he would call his landlord tomorrow to ask if they were going up with space in the car for D and me at the weekend, and he would let me know as soon as possible. He said if they were vague, that he would take it as a no, so that I could get on with my plans for the weekend and not get jerked around. Gosh, that's a first for H! Also, I do have plan B, with my good friend - a pyjama party/movie night.
Oh, and H was curious about the card, wanted to know what it said, and could I post it to him? He thinks it is rude as in 'not polite' rather than as in 'risqué'.... He's going to be in for a surprise when he sees it! I don't think he even cottoned on to it's being Valentine's Day.
Anyway, I told him it was an animated card that would remain available for a month, so he had time to check it out still. He told me to keep the link. H sounds keen to see it!!!!
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
