Thanks for the analogy Ellie.

H rand this evening. I picked up the phone, H said, well, I just wanted to say hi! So I said hi in return, and asked how he was. He told me about the work he had done over the weekend, and about some progress on his project. The subject of redemption came up in passing.

Then H said, seeing as I haven't seen D in two weeks, I was wondering, have you got a plan for next weekend...?

I said, not yet, why?

H said, I was wondering if I could come down to you for the weekend.

I asked, you don't want to do next weekend what we planned for this one, which didn't work out (ie, D and I go up to him)?

H said, it has turned bitterly cold here, so I thought it would be better if you came up in March, it would be nicer then, even as I speak I am feeling cold in the house. It is really not very comfortable.

(I can confirm that the nights have been bitter and this morning when I took D to school my fingers ached, even in their padded gloves!)

So I said, OK, that's fine.

I have kept in mind what others have pointed out, that even if our spouses wish to move close, they need to save face, and might use 'seeing D' and suchlike as cover.

Positives -

H is NOT staying with OW1
H rang me
H asked to stay
He is still talking about us going up to visit him perhaps next month. March is usually very pleasant around these parts.

Further positives -

I have a load of work this week!
I am back to doing my early morning exercises and not hogging like a pig!

Livnlearn

"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates