Here's something that I have come across frequently too.
The resilient child - one who has survived a childhood of abuse, chaos, or where neither parent connected with them emotionally - often experience midlife crisis with particular force. This is true of my H. Both his parents were completely distant, not just a little bit. I honestly thought he had got over this, as he himself informed me at the start of the marriage, but evidently this was not the case, as he brought up his father in one of his recent emails!
And I also read that the women who typically get involved in affairs with married men are needy and had abusive childhoods, which I can confirm is the case with both OW.
And so?
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates