Hi Mojo

"Where do you get your patience from? You are just amazing."

Is that what it looks like to you? Oh my. I DO waver all the time... actually, I get renewed bouts of patience (derived from a wider perspective and injections of understanding and compassion) from reading around a lot, on this BB, other internet sites, and I've ordered a load of books recently, and some arrived today.

I had very warm and positive and compassionate feelings about H today, and though I didn't get any reply to my email, I picked up the phone this evening and asked him if he wanted me to bring up his special computer chair from down here. He had mentioned sending it up one time with D in the car. So I thought I would confirm whether he wants it and also make a change by ringing him, rather than waiting till he rings me.

H sounded very flat. Said it wouldn't fit in the car with both of us going up, in all probability. Then he said, I will ring the landlord to confirm when he is going. He rang back in a short bit and said, landlord is either just going up for the day, or if they stay overnight it will be because their daughter-plus-kid is going as well, so there won't be ANY place in the car for me or D. But H will know by tomorrow, rather last minute, I fear.

H said, you could always just come up for the day if you can.

Then he said, I'll ring to speak to D later, I'm off for a shower now.

More flatness. Won't stay on the line a minute more than necessary. It is hard to be 'as if' and upbeat when the other party is sooooo FLAT, you begin to feel like a clown trying to raise a laugh... Guess I'll leave off that for now. He has been strange all week.

Guess I will just plug on from my end. Nothing heavy, just upbeat.

Livnlearn

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OK, D just returned from an evening with her friend. She hadn't even got inside the flat, was still on the stairs when I could hear stanping of feet and wailing. I asked what was up. She didn't reply. I could feel my blood pressure beginnning to rise as she just kept at it and refused to come into the house.

After I gritted my teeth and thought to myself, "Why me? Why do I have all these 'difficult' characters to deal with every day of my life...???" I got a grip, sat down on the sofa, having left the front door ajar, and continued calmly reading my book, The Mastery of Love!

D came in a few minutes later, slammed the door, dumped her bag and coat on the floor, stomped off...

I remained my calm lovely self, dished up dinner. She made a scene about what we were eating, (I just told her to finish up, if not, no story or whatever), she grumbled about stuff in school today...

I uh huh-ed a bit and went about my business. I did NOT react. Good on Livnlearn.

Eventually she ate up, and I helped her with a spot of repairs on her craftwork.

After brushing her teeth quickly, she got into bed all in a good mood, and we had proper good night kisses and hugs!

I must remember, perhaps emblazon it on my forehead - Someone ELSE's tantrum REALLY isn't MY problem!!

"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates