This is a good list for me to read as I decide to continue to DB or just face my current reality and give up. I have to admit that even though I've really tried in the last couple months I have questioned in the last year if I really loved him. I can say I was not in love with him because of his recent selfishness - MLC or not. He had been and still is I believe going to a couple different therapists for depression for the last 3 years. I asked him at one time if he was really being himself when there and looking into himself as he did not seem to be getting less depressed and was not acting as himself of the previous 10 years and I wanted to make sure he was being open enough to be helped. I guess we'll never know.
Anyway - the list helps me because if I look back on our first year of dating the list matches him/us in numbers: 1, 2, 4, 5, 14, 15, and 16. I have been asking myself lately "am I nuts to want him back" and now that I look at the list, I can say that I am nuts. What the heck? There were good years but the list is now repeating itself with him. He matches the list again in many ways - in terrible financial trouble and he wasn't when he left, he is fault finding, he has none of his old friends - NONE!. He does not see his kids or his dad - he used to be a good father and son, etc.
Thanks for sending the list!! I still am sad for the lose of him but not for what I have lost if that makes sense. I'd still take him back if we could MC for a while to make sure things could be good but I would not let him move back until I knew for sure. I don't need to be helping someone come out of debt again or be talked to like I am always at fault. I have been a good wife and mother and work full time and am not in debt. I have been as plesant as possible under the circumstances - blah, blah, blah. You all know what I mean.
