Quote: Is it detach, or is it show H a happy home and life.
These are not opposites. You do both.
Detachment is disconnecting the emotional reactions to someone else's behavior and/or to situations. You can still be, and should be, loving, supportive, positive and interested. It's that you learn to let go and not let your buttons be pushed, nor let your emotions take over, or not try to control the situation. It's accepting what is, and accepting that other people make their own decisions.
A good example is to treat the other person as you would a good friend. As an extreme example, if a good friend misunderstood something you said and were to say to you, "that thing you said to me the other day, boy did it hurt, and I don't know if I can be your friend anymore", you'd be concerned about your friend's feelings and want to calmly and lovingly set the misunderstanding right. What you wouldn't do, are things like
get defensive argue worry about what's going to happen to you if your friend walks out take offense at it personally pass the blame to them feel you're not good enough get angry let it ruin your day
and so on. But those are the sort of things we might do if we get emotionally reactive, if we're emotionally attached. This is why most people treat their friends better than they do their lovers.
More: Your friend confides in you that they want to move out of state. Your reaction may be to say, "Wow! Gee I'll really miss seeing you around, but good luck! We'll keep in touch of course, and we'll visit! When are you moving?" What you wouldn't do is:
worry that your friendship is now doomed argue with them about it wonder how you're going to get along without her Cry over it
