So H went to dinner with you??? Very nice! Not much time to post tonight, but wanted you to know I was thinking about you. Good job on not bringing up OW, I know it's hard.
Sherry Haven't posted to you before, but have read your sitch. I think we all go thru the ups & downs, sometimes from second to second, sometimes hour to hour. I'm in a similar sitch as you, difference is I'm a stay at home mom, with lots of time to think (obsess?!) all day.
Definitely keep journaling here. Even if it makes no sense to anyone but YOU. Sometimes just getting things on paper (or, in this case computer) helps give you a different perspective. And at the same time there are helpful people here on the board that will be your sounding board.
Great job on not speaking of ow. I NEVER capitalize this anymore - thanks to reading Sages thread. The ow just isn't worth the extra effort it would take to press the caps lock key!
I like the ow thing and not capitalizing it. I will do that. I think I would be crazy without this board to talk things out on. It helps so much to know there are other people going through this and feeling the same thing. It is weird, but I feel like I have friends here in the short time I have been posting. I have been feeling better the last two days. Strangely, not obsessing as much. Not really thinking about H and ow and how much they talk or what is going on as much. Started to think about H talking to ow on the way home from dinner (caught him once on the way home talking away on his cell phone) then just thought so what, he will do it, you cant stop, dont waste your time on it. Hope I can keep that up because it felt GOOD.
LGO, how long has your sitch been going on, can you give details on your sitch. Early night, really tired and still headachy from stress at work. Sherry
Have read your updated post. Good job. You can do this and will be successful if it is meant to be. Keep up the good work. Your H will realize that you are better than ow because you are...
My thread is on the Midlife forum. I jumped over to the ML forum as I am afraid my wife has signs of that. This is not good as you probably know, the ML thing takes a while to work out. I am afraid I might be in this for the long haul but I guess just knowing that helps give you patience.
Check out my thread as your comments are always welcome.
My sitch...hmmm, he started seeing ow in May 2004, however we both admit to problems prior to that, just never worked on them - rather swept them under the rug hoping they would fix themselves.
See if you can click on my link to view the "full version!". I did have an original thread entitled "catch-22" under the name LifeGoingOn, but for some reason I couldn't sign in to it anymore and had to start a new thread. So, see if you can find that one, too. If you can't find either thread, let me know.
Have a good day. LGO
BTW - my humor is a little off the wall sometimes. In no way does it mean I don't take any of this seriously, even if it comes across that way sometimes.
Hi Sherry, hope you are having a better day. It does get easier in longer periods eventually. Everytime you backslide it is harder to get back to where you were...look at me with the snooping, I was doing great for a few weeks and then I had to snoop and am having a hard time stopping now. I just posted a new thread called might make you feel better...it is some stuff my sis wrote me. I have to say that I was feeling kind of crappy this morning until I read that. Hang in there, do something fun this weekend. Leave H with the kids and go out on your own...No R talk, no ow talk. (I think I will incorporate the no caps too! )
Yeah, my day has been better. My problem parent apologized, now if I could H too. LOL.
I am in a better mindset. Can't explain why. I just want it to continue. I have to keep reminding myself to keep home happy and comfortable for H. As much as that sucks, because H had the A, I know that needs to be done.
So I am on day 3 of no R or ow talk and not emailing H unless he emails first. I will do something tomorrow just for me. Thinking about hitting the movies or going shopping. Lost weight and not much fits anymore. Will check out your new thread. Hang in there. You can stop snooping. Hope you have a good weekend with H. He is coming home, right? Sherry
Your sitch does sound like mine. The emotional atatchment started in May with my H and physical in July. We also knew we have had problems but never really worked on them either. I will check out your thread to learn more. Thanks for checking back in. Sherry
Well H came home and seemed down, he's been a little under the weather, figured that was it. I receive a call from a friend when H tells me I have an email. Okay, he seems better. We talked and joked a little. Well he has been drinking. Not like H to do this. An occassional drink but rarely anything more. I can tell he is tipsy and a little beyond.
Of course my mind starts reeling. WHY? Is there a reason he feels the need to drink? Is he going to drop another bomb on me and leave.? Did he and ow have trouble? He has told me if he leaves ow it would be he-- in the house. So now I just dont know. I am probably overreacting. I hope so except for the part that he is having problems with ow. But, will not get hopes up. Will be very upset if he is under the weather tomorrow because I planned on going out for awhile. Haven't told him of course, was just going to surprise him with it. But won't show him that I am upset.
Well, 3 days of no R or ow talk. Only responded to emails he sent, did not email first. Continuing one day at a time here. Sherry
Okay, I get up and am taking a shower. My plan is to get ready and just tell H I am going out for awhile. While I am in the shower, H tells me I am going to change the oil in the van. Be back in a few. AAAAAgggggggggg. So I think okay, I will not be here when he gets home, but I have to take the kids. So a few hours later H calls, he is on his way home. Tell him okay but I am not home. He says oh... where are you. I just said out and about. That doesnt work after a few minutes of convo H asks again so where are you? I know he will get upset (and he sounds upbeat) if I don't tell him, so I tell him. He hints at having not eaten, so I said you want to meet for lunch. He says I dont know, you taking the kids to grab something. I said I haven't really thought about it yet. He says hey I am right by a starbucks, I will grab a cup of coffee you finish up what you are doing then we will grab lunch.???? I know I shouldn't have asked about lunch. Just slipped out. Sometimes things just seem so normal, I forget to be distant and make him wonder. It is hard to do that with kids involved. I usually am responsible for the kids most of the time. He seemed in good spirits. I am trying really hard to put this out of my mind and not think if he called ow while out and about this morning. I am going to be happy and positive at lunch. NO R or ow talk today. Sherry
)