Unsure, Yeah I haven't mentioned OW or R since Saturday evening. I am really trying not to have any blow-ups. That is when H says "you want me to come back to this." That seems to be all he remembers. It is so hard, it is always there in my head. I haven't emailed H today and it is killing me. I am waiting to see if he emails me which he hasn't yet. He has emailed first before but not lately. So, today I am sitting tight. I know I will probably be disappointed. It just kills me that he will see OW and talk to her and I am out of his head completely while this is going on. YES, I have thought about talking to OW and emailing. I have actually dialed her # on more than one ocassion. Got it from cell phone bill. H was furious. It was at a bad time for us (lots of fighting and emotions). I have actually thought about going to his work and confronting her there. Actually drove part way one day, but got my senses and turned around. H said he would stand behind her and not me if I did that. That really hurt. She has kids but is not married, never been married (kids from 3 different men--YUCK!!!). So I guess she is looking for a H for her kids. Well, she can't have mine! Yeah, if we D, then watch out I will not hold back at all. I will tell her exactly what I think. I have already told H that our kids will be limited in the dealings they have with OW because of her situation if it comes to that. I don't want my kids exposed to that at this early age. He didn't say anything. I am clinging to the fact that last week H told me he had had serious doubts obout his R with OW (would not give me any details). It is still going on and know soon the next cell phone bill will be coming in. I pay bills so I have to prepare myself for it. Well tommorow will be a week without any serios blow-ups. Only a minor one. I have to continue to show H that I can change and do this. I know he won't come back to me even he ends it with OW if he doesn't see us different. I can't keep doing the "same thing." It is what pushed him away. It is just so hard when you are hurting inside. Thanks for letting me rant and rave. I check your thread later and see how things are with you. Sherry
