Quote: My H has told me he can't end it until it he sees it crash and burn. I have asked him how does he expect it to crash and burn when it is so far removed from reality and everyday life. Yeah, things are great talking on the phone and seeing each other at work ocassionally. They do not have deal with everyday life, kids, stress, etc. H has no response for this.
You're absolutely right. This can go on for years. You have to ask yourself "if it's a year from now, do I want to still be in the same situation?"
You have to be tough but lovingly so, not mean. Find out who the OW is and if she's married, call her husband and reveal the affair. That puts pressure on her side to end it.
Quote: So at first I thought I would do 180s and show him what we could be.
Good. Read up on the other techniques in Divorce Remedy too.
Quote: H has said ...
Don't put stock in what he says.
Quote: But lately I have been thinking about me and my health and mental state of mind.
As well you should. You're number 1.
Quote: I am just scared to take that next step. Of being alone, complete responsibility of the kids
Normal reasonable concerns. See what you can do to take care of yourself and the children if alone. You won't be lonely, you have friends. Start spending more time with them, they're your support.
Quote: I asked him to please leave and let me get on with my life. He said no, he cant end it with OW or with me. Now that I do not understand.
And you never will, because these things don't make sense, they're emotional. But he'll drag this on indefinitely. Change the locks/ read "Love Must Be Tough" by James Dobson.
