I am learning to not bring up OM. The last time he was brought up was around Christmas. She said it was over then but my W is so consumed with figuring herself out (correctly known as self-centeredness), that I think she thinks okay to lie if to protect herself. I am trying to be as trustful as commonsense allows.
My sitch is married almost 17 years, D16 and S13. My wife still lives here and is trying to work on R. We are in counseling (separately). She has almost walked twice since I discovered the A. This weekend was rough. I backslid a bit which caused us to get into a discussion of our R. She said some pretty sad things but at least I know where her head is. Things like, She wishes she was dead, "Why don't I just let her go". That she has "screwed up this R". Unfortunatly, my wife is prisoner of past resentments and doesn't know how to let go. It is almost like she is punishing me yet she is the one to have the A. Anyway, I am rambling a bit. I truly think my wife is in a midlife (I am 41, she is 39) so I spend some time on the midlife board. I am task oriented so you can guess that I am having a difficult time with this. I want to fix this but you can't fix what you did'nt break.
