Dont worry as I responded to you on my thread, these are all of the things that I go through everyday. The backsliding, acting as if...I often think if I start doing things with our Daughter without him it just gives him the time to talk on the phone too....It hurts. My H who had stopped hiding the cellphone bill for months even tho they were damaging, has since taken up hiding it and paying it himself. He thinks I dont know, but I do. He is paying it with our joint account...Duh!
I usually last about 2 weeks before I backslide. IT sucks because you know that it is not right, but you want to shake your H and tell him what the F? When I read your post I am reminded of myself and all of the emotions that not only I go through but everyone else here go through. They are normal and you need time to process your feelings. With H living with you it doesnt allow you the opportunity to breakdown without H seeing it...and as we know these breakdowns only hurt the DB effort. When you are feeling sad and confused, etc come here. Post 50x if you have to...That is what I try to do. Right now I feel like my sitch has started all over again with my H's impending departure from home. I know I will go through all of the emotions I did the first time and maybe worse. I hate that my H's relationship is thrown in my face. I just got a phone call from H's mom and she wanted to know where he was, he left 15 minutes ago to go over there...She lives 2 minutes away...that is being thrown in my face, he had to call OW first. It really hurts. Sometimes like you I think that I would be better off without H and then I can move on just like you said, but they get to move on without the daily responsibilites of the kids, etc. Where does that leave us. I just know that since my H has been home, I am better, I have less breakdowns and it gives me the opportunity to show H how much I care. But I hate this...Just like you.
Have you and H talked about seperating? How long have you been married?
