Some background.. H and I married 18 yrs. Last year H moved out was having PA and EA with women he works with. H moved back home after 6 months saying he wanted to work it out. There were bumpy times but things seemed to be getting better. New Years eve this year I discovered the PA and EA hadnt ended. Apparently H had tried to break it off a few times but couldnt. I found many emails H telling OW " I am so in love with you" etc etc. I tell H he needs to move out. H begs and crys and says he doesnt want to lose me, love me etc. We have two sons 10 and 17. H and I agree to continue to work on marriage. H sends email to OW saying he wants to break it off this time for good, wants to make his marriage work and get his life back on track. H copies me on email. OW sends email back saying how many times are you going to try and break this off before I get the picture.. Then OW calls me and leaves me voicemail that she is sorry for the pain she has caused me etc etc. So I know H has ended it and H has been very attentive to me etc etc for last two weeks. But my problem is that I know H has very strong feelings for OW and probably love. That doesnt go away overnight. I am having difficulty living with this now. I keep thinking why did he fall in love with OW. He still works with her so I know there are emails going back and forth and I am confident he has called her to check on her. She cleary is deeply in love with him and was expecting him to leave me and she was hanging in there through thick and thin. So I am finding it hard to believe that it is finally over. I am tired of thinking about it. H and I have had nice times during last two weeks and H keeps talking about plans for future etc. I believe he is sincere. He said his feeling are real and his feelings for her made him confused. Althought his feelings are still there he is no longer confused about what he wants. He wants our marriage to work and he wants to rebuild it. What do I do with all these feelings. I love him but today I am not sure I want to rebuild. I am not sure I can get past the fact he is in love with another woman. I just cant believe this is all happening. Can anyone give me some advice. Today I feel like calling it quits.
