You definately seem to have an excellent read on her mind set. It is very hard for me to comprehend it, understand the lack of motivation to solve it (many years of just ignoring/hiding it) and resisting any help towards a better outcome (both from me and professionals). What really hit close to the mark is your statement about sacrificing for the marriage. One of the C spoke to me about her needing to feel like a martyr (marriage and service to others).

It never ceases to amaze me how some people can justify exception to doctrine and still feel in harmony. She loves the kids, loves the Church, feels she has a strong T but can't seem to connect the dots between what the bretheren say in regards to healing or marraige. (Doesn't think it relates to our sitch) She does seem to have more of the spirit with her (she was definately cold in the early stages), but a phrase about luke warm jumps to memory right now.

Please do think more on this dilema. I have given space and held back comment and R discussions. As a result I'm not sure how to talk to her about this without seeming preachy or pursuent. I love this women and can see light, but my patience is stretched thin.

From the beginning she claims I have done nothing wrong and I can't think of anything. When asked what she would change about me the answer was, "I don't want him to have to change for me, that's what I did and I don't want to any more". I've never asked her to change for me, my expectations were nothing more than what the church expects. So here we are, pegged as the bad guy, but with nothing to do, nothing to change and very little control. If it wasn't for DB I think I would feel totally helpless. At least this way I feel like I have something I can control and work on. You don't relize how much it helps to have your input.

Please give this some good thought this weekend. I will be on here later today, but gone most of the rest of the weekend. Going camping. Have a great weekend.