I guess my hidden concern is how over the years I have just taken an "as if" approach, even though I didn't know what it was. If something was wrong I would ask what the problem was and she would say "nothing". She felt it was her problem to solve. If I started to try to help, it would just annoy her, so I would back off. So I'm not sure which way is best. So far I have stuck with "as if" since it seems to get the best results. However all she seems to want is a worse than before status quo.
So at this point I don't feel like I'm going anywhere fast, I can't get my hopes up, so I'm at "don't give a rip". On the positive side I'm trying to make sure I am doing what I want, enjoying the kids and prepare myself for whatever comes my way. Fighting off the anger right now is a tough thing. Trying to stay accepting to someone who has done this to me is tough also. But, I'm usually a push over, so I know I'll probably take her back just like before.
We have good plans for the weekend, let's see how they play out. Thanks for your input.
