Everytime you post now, Phoenix, there seems to be more positive aspects to your sitch. I am surely rooting for ya, and praying for you and your family. Keep doing what works.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
What is bothering me these days is the feeling of no control that has taken over my life and R. W feels that she will never feel the way she should about R, but doesn't want to hurt others (so will just mave a pleasent status quo) or put out the effort to regrow the R. So we sit in the middle with what seems very little movement. Do the giving space dance and wait for lightning to strike. I guess you could say I have her here, some basic needs are being met, but we are sliding into the "comfortably numb" stage again.
All I want to know is where is the road to Damascus and how can I get her there? Will I ever see some real change from a W who hates to admit she might have done wrong and apologize/repent? I know I'm in this for the long haul, but I'm a little weary of the fight. Grant me a little peace today, I need it.
Hi Phoenix--sounds like you are just on a down day today. Some of your posts are pretty positive. Maybe you are wishing things would move a little faster than they have been. You must be patient and go by her timetable. Try not to worry so much about her changing. Focus more on you changing. Take care of yourself and do things for yourself. Let her see changes in you. Usually when they see us change, they follow, even if they don't realize it. It takes time though and longer for some than others. I once thought things were really going slow in my sitch. We were getting along great and getting comfortable with each other and spending lots of time together but we didn't live together. I was frustrated and felt we were just stuck. But one day out of the blue, he said he wanted to come home. So you never know. Just try your hardest to let go of it and let it happen naturally.
Well, if I had to choose, I'd say Dawgs--but I don't really follow any of them very close. I'm a Mariner's fan! Hope your weekend was good and you are feeling better today!
I am doing better. A good night of sleep does wonders. Some times it does wonders to step back and see what you have accomplished. The day to day struggle is hard, but the other choice doesn't get any better from day to day, you just get to shut it out more easily.
Way to go M's. I'm a Wildcat Alum (second choice would be Dawgs). I definately miss Edgar, he was the man. Could sure go for a night at Safeco with the W. Now there's a goal.
Some days no matter how badly the feet are paddling below the surface, above there seems like little movement. Anybody out there having some good experiences out there today. I'm trying to be one of those "no news is good news attitude" kind of guys. Good luck out there.
Phoenix, I'm sorry you're back in the still waters again. I was hoping that things will turn around for you especially that you were one of the people that inspired me to continue and try when my R wasn't looking like there was anything left of it.
I haven't been around (just lurking from time to time) so I did not know what was going on with you. If I can be of any help= please let me know. I'm rooting for you!
Well Crushed I guess right now my patience is out of power. I get very tired of all the fuss my wife makes over children, parents other peoples kids, but can hardly be much more than polite to me. Her solution to our problem is where we are now, I can't accept that. I'm thinking of taking a job back east, take the kids and tell her when she has her head together, we'll talk. She'll either have to stand up and do what's right, or wallow in her choice. I guess I'm getting to the point of some tough love.
I do love this woman, but I'm not going to let her damage our lives forever. She is hoping that if she sits on the fence and plays like nothing is wrong, nobody will notice and everyone will get most of what they want. Well, I'm tired of playing the game. Since she won't stand up and do something, perhaps I will. Enough time has past and I've been very patient, it's time for something to happen. Well I guess we'll see if this is just venting or if I have finally had enough.
Hi Phoenix--sorry you're down again. From what I can tell you've been at this since October? Remember it can take a month for each year of marriage. I've been married 10 years and it took 11 months for us to get back together. Please try to let go of your "victim" feelings, they won't help you and will put pressure on her.
I'm wondering what you would like to have happen if you did move back east and take the kids--would you hope this would bring her to her senses? Are you hoping to control the sitch by making this move? Will it bring her closer to you? What if you didn't move but you got on with your life as if you were away from her. Could you act as if you moved away from her and you are going to move on with your life?
