There are positive changes, I guess I just have to step back and accept changes at face value. With betrayed trust and the resistence to showing definate change (giving herself an emergency out if needed), I find it hard getting too excited about the changes. Like yourself, BeingME, I wonder if I can really draw close again to her. If she is always going to have one foot hanging out the door, am I willing to live with this the rest of my life.
The battle that seems to be the root of all this is the decision she needs to make between the person she needs to be (wife, mother, religious..)or the person that her friends and coworkers want her to be. She'll be the last to admit it, but this has MLC written all over it. There is time when she is happy with the highlights of family (school plays, basketball games), then there are times when the co-workers call up and want to go "do stuff" (action, excitement, no responsibility). This "stuff" is starting to cost as much as a bad habit.
I have to step back and look at the fact that she is still home and will probably stay. But I am scared to push the issue and jerpordize that. So I feel locked in an endless struggle and my only hope being something I'm having a hard time picturing. However I am not one to give up easily. Besides I love my children and I promised myself I would do whatever is necessary for their well being.
My thoughts are with you BeingMe. I wish I had some real pearl of wisdom to turn things around for you, but I don't. Your there and must make the call. Hope your week goes well.
For now I guess, enjoy the smile and be thankfull for life.
