Hey Jen--glad to know I've helped.

I remember when I first started posting here...I was thrilled to know what I was feeling and experiencing didn't make me crazy. H has often given me the impression that my reactions are nutty--I understand now it's just because he can't understand exactly how I feel, not because he's intentionally being callous.

It also hurt me to realize my little ideal of how an M should work just doesn't seem to exist. It might...not sure if I actually know of anyone who didn't have this kind of issue at some point. What I found interesting, while doing tons of reading, is something the statistics don't usually tell you... Yes, 50% of M's end in divorce. And, of the 50% who did divorce, often the reason cited is not infidelity. And infidelity occurs in the majority of marriages at some point (can't recall the number). Which probably means most people resolve the issue...without discussing it with anyone else. I found that strangely comforting...

Quote:

How can you love someone you don't trust? I feel like it is eating me alive.




I had the same problem for awhile...I couldn't understand why I wanted someone who had walked away from me. I finally decided several things... #1, I was a big enough person to be able to accept H as a human, who made a very human mistake. #2, I could respect that what H did might possibly have been even harder--coming back, knowing the kind of mistake he had made.

I guess I've been able to see, over time, H's point of view. Sure, he handled things differently than I would have...

And, it does get better with time. Until H got worked up again, right at Christmas, I had almost forgotten about all the crap that happened. It was very, very nice. So it is possible...just takes time and patience.

Oooh, the snowmobiling sounds fun. New activities is a great way to bond!

Quote:

Thanks and I think you are awesome. Do you have a thread or are you just an angel that helps everyone else?




Thanks hon! No, no angel...lol... I've received a lot of help here, just trying to pass it along. And, sssh, posting to other people helps me feel better, too.

Have a good day...

(And there is a link to my thread underneath my name.)

[color:"purple"]Nevanna[/color]