Thank you so much for the support. I have been having such a down week and your support has really helped. I think if I am really honest with myself I am scared. Actually terrified.
My H and I have been together for 15 years since I was 16 years old. I fell in love with him the day I met him. We had a really strong connection from the day we met everyone always commented on our energy together.
We have been married for 9 years and had some really difficult times. I completely accept 50% of the responsibility that lead to the A. Although, I accept 0% of what happened after it began. It was the typical cliche. He got drunk at a conference and had sex with a 22 year old enlisted soldier. I knew right when he returned something was wrong. He was a completely diifferent person. He never told me. He then started a relationship after that. He said he felt so guilty that he had to believe that there must be something about her, he has to be in love with her to do something so terrible, he said he felt so guilty he had to convince himself that we were not meant to be together. I can understand all of that, but I will not take responsibilty for how he handled it. The lies and the deception are even worse than the acti itself. How could I have been so wrong about someone?
This is going to sound really juvenile but, My H is the only man I have ever been with and that is so hard for me that there has been someone else with my husband.
He doesn't understand what a betrayal this was to me. That is why I am so thankful for all of you. I just don't think I could do this alone. You all understand what I am going through and unfortunately it is sad to say that I am not alone.
