Hi Jen, I haven't posted for quite a while but just read your story and can totally relate to your feelings - I've been through them. I, like you, had gotten to the point in my head where I was ready to move on. I couldn't take the lies and deception any more.
Then, one day at the end of September, my H told me that it was over with the OW and he was committing to our R. I was extremely skeptical - wondering when the bomb would drop again. I felt like I was walking through life faking it. Yes, this was what I had wanted all along and yet, I was feeling indifferent. So much damage was done during that time of the A. Trust was lost - our relationship will, from this point on, always be different.
Then, someone on this board told me that she had read a book (I think the one by Shirley Glass) that advises you to wait three months before deciding if you want to stay or go. Good advice... We are now at six months post-A and it definately took a good 3 months before I felt at all better. I still have my days and thoughts of distrust but my H has been wonderful (and it sounds like yours is trying, too) in helping build back the trust. We also went to MC and have learned better how to love each other (Love Languages).
All that said.. yes, your feelings are completely normal and your wanting space is, too. But, remember sometimes you have to act "as if". It will get better - I promise.
