It's Unanimous- We both want out.

[MJontheMend]

So if he asks you, What's up? instead of replying as RLT suggests above, you might say something like: "I'm spending some time going inside and trying to understand my own sexuality." That way you are totally detached and haven't done one of those teeny hole-biting things that I described on FF's thread.

That's good. I could also say "I am trying to figure out how I can be more self-respecting in my sexuality". Making it about me is actually more true since my goal in changing my behavior and strengthening my boundaries in this regard is to better insure my own happiness. He is free to choose how he responds to the new me.

Thanks this really helps me think about it clearly. I am not trying to be manipulative by demanding more respect. I am trying to make myself a better person. If my H is able to respond in kind it will be because he is becoming a better person too, but that is totally up to him.