Quote: Do not make a statement or threat to your H that you are "doing this to him because..." you have to stay quiet about it until he asks. When he finally asks whats going on after a few days simply state "I need romance and intimacy from you in order to return it back".
I agree with this except if an when he inquires about what you're up to, I wouldn't make it about him at all. And I think you need to get to a place (at least temporarily) where it isn't about him.
So if he asks you, What's up? instead of replying as RLT suggests above, you might say something like: "I'm spending some time going inside and trying to understand my own sexuality." That way you are totally detached and haven't done one of those teeny hole-biting things that I described on FF's thread.
I'm thinking of an exchange in one of Schnarch's books where a couple left the C session and the husband was in a state of turmoil due to something his W had said. He turned to her for some kind of explanation or comfort, but she said, "I can't talk to you about that now. I'm busy trying to figure out for myself what this-and-that means." I don't remember the exact issue.
So, to summarize, you shut down the sex channel, he comes to you-- suspiciously-- and asks about it. You, in essence, say: "I can't take the time right now to explain to you and soothe your discomfort. I'm busy inside myself, figuring out my own stuff."
To me that's detachment. His reactions to you are none of your business at this point.
