If I understand you guys properly, you are telling me that it's good for me to set this boundary but if I make a pronouncement about it that would be aggressive. I think you are right. I was actually thinking that I wouldn't try to explain my behavior until my H did confront me about it but I couldn't figure out if this might just be passive aggressive which would be worse. I'm sort of confused because it seems to me that it would be kind of a loving thing for me to set this boundary with my H because otherwise he is never going to be able to respect himself for the way he behaves. I guess it would be a sort of "tough love" but his behavior would seem to warrant it.
If I really don't want to settle for less than what I'm asking for by setting this boundary then how is it simply a move in our power struggle? I'm sure my feelings of confusion are directly related to my lack of practice or skill in setting this kind of boundary.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
