Re drinking: what is a normal amount for him? Since you know what his typical drunk behavior is, does he have some history of alcohol abuse?
A normal amount for my bf was one six-pack.
He didn't get drunk (or look or act drunk-- and then only barely) until after the second six-pack.
I am suggesting that your H is displaying some alcoholic (not drunk) behaviors, namely, an intolerance of emotional discomfort, which, when he experiences it, he short-circuits with a dramatic tactic like a tantrum, ultimatum, insulting you, punching a wall, smashing something-- anything to take the heat off of him. Alcoholics can be adolescents... my bf has recognized that he is emotionally stalled at the age he was when he started drinking to excess: 16. Chronologically he's 54.
Alcoholics behave like alcoholics even when they're not drinking, unless and until they recognize that they do behave this way and consciously face the fact that they need to change. People who are with alcoholics (like me) often take a long, long time to see the alcoholic behavior, even when they have had it paraded in front of them and felt the effects of it.
