It's Unanimous- We both want out.

[SolidMechanic]

I need to clear my head and figure out to what extent our problems really are about biologically low sex drive and to what extent they are about control. I guess what I'm thinking is I need to practice a little self-control in order to stop feeling like I'm allowing my H to control me. Does this make sense?

I think that's a good idea. H has the cheese. By changing his demands and being nebulous about them he is moving the cheese. This is his way of getting you to run around the maze while he avoids confronting his own issues. And boy, does he have issues.

I think he feels the need to be mothered. It's no wonder there is so much difficulty having a mutual relationship. He needs you to take care of him, like you are his mommy - when you try to tell him what you need, he feels like you are scolding him, like you are his mommy.

I've always been the kind of person to confound sex and love. I wouldn't ML with him right now simply because you're just not in a very loving place. Before you ML with him, ask yourself what he has done lately to make you feel loved.

SM